So no prepared post this Monday sadly, due to a weekend of a potential postnatal depression.
I have been feeling really strong since the birth and actually didn’t get the usual weepiness attributed to Day 3 when milk typically comes in.
However, my anxiety kicked off again on Saturday and last night I felt so low.
I didn’t feel anything. I didn’t feel tired as is typical of new parents, I just felt numb.
I had to force myself to express as I just couldn’t be bothered and I feel terrible to confess that there were a few hours where I didn’t feel anything for my baby either.
I hope you will bear with me though as I have some posts in the pipeline; risk taking, expanding your comfort zone and a sonnet challenge!
The pump churns out its rhythm
My breasts worked by the system
Perusing the dream
Keep mining the seam
Of milk the colour of cream
Sitting in a dark room,
Surrounded by an eerie blackness of despair,
For days and days.
Suddenly I see a light up in a corner of a room,
Is it a window or my imagination?
I get up and go over to the corner.
It’s a window of light in all the despair and darkness.
I struggle with the rusty lock and open the window wide.
I look through the opening
And feel the warm glow of the sun.
I see the sunlight, I hear the birds,
I smell the flowers, I feel the cool breeze,
I taste the flavours of freedom.
I climb through the window
Leaving the darkness far behind.
When a door closes, there is a window somewhere
Leading to somewhere wonderful:
a place you never knew was there.
I have a new creative project which I am so excited about, I am sharing it with you before it’s even started.
The Church I go to has a number of youth groups attached to it, and at present time, a good friend of mine is one of the leaders. They have activities every week and she thought it would be fun to have a Murder Mystery Night. I was the President of The Murder Mystery Society (MurderSoc) whilst I was at university, and so volunteered to help her write it.
However, although I have been loosely involved in the conceptualising and writing of mysteries before, this one is going to be significantly different.
This particular group is girls only, so there are not the typical relationship dynamics to play on, and (as it is a church activity for youth), the usual ‘motives’, such as adultery, cannot be used. Usually, murder mysteries and their players do not bat an eye at men playing female characters or women playing male characters, in fact it usually adds to the fun. The church, however, is not so amused. So we are having to rely a lot more on power dynamics, greed and self-interest to drive the characters.