Putting the ‘Resolve’ in Resolution

Why Do We Make New Year’s Resolutions?

Social convention plays a big part. A typical small talk topic leading up to December 31st is ‘Have you made any New Year’s Resolutions?’ 

At this point, many of us grasp at the first thing that pops into our heads that we find least desirable about ourselves and lead with that. Otherwise it’s an activity we think will be impressive if we express interest in perusing it, or, in desperation, we just vaguely mutter something about diet and exercise. 

Thus, the initial issue with New Year’s Resolutions is that they are non-committal, often vague and generic statements thrown about in the name of festive convention. We are not motivated or inspired, the intention is not there to make them thus there is no ambition to keep them and so they are unfulfilled before even being acknowledged. 

Why Does New Year Appeal for Sudden Goal Setting? 

It’s tidy. The first day of a new year sounds like it should be highly motivational, a neat new start, sweeping out the old and starting fresh.

Perhaps this Spring Cleaning tradition would work if the New Year still began in March, when the days are growing longer and the weather is improving, more of us would be able to maintain their enthusiasm and eat healthier and exercise more. 

But the middle of winter is when the majority of us are seeking for comfort from food and warm blankets. 

What Results in Repeatedly Making Resolutions We Never Keep? 

Most of us are self-aware enough to know that we have faults, accompanied by a desire to ‘fix’ them. 

This means one of two things: either we are trying to go cold turkey on undesirable aspects of our personality (my impatience for instance) and get tripped up by being disappointed in ourselves when we are not perfect and make mistakes like losing our temper over parking tickets or someone drinking out of our special mug at work; or we are trying to undertake projects that we simply do not have the time, year after year, to complete. 

Perhaps the first step with the latter would be to improve our ability at budgeting our time and learning to prioritise, and for the former, we need to learn self-love, not to never change, but to respect ourselves and trust our ability to improve overtime. 

Change is never instantaneous and to act like it is (something that is intensified at New Year) is to set ourselves up for disappointment. We should instead appreciate that change is slow, show ourselves the patience and encouragement we would give others when we experience momentary lapses to bad habits. That way, these slips would be short-lived set backs, not obstacles that holt our progress. 

Effective Change is Born of Positivity not Negativity

The core issue is our expectations; our desire to be our best selves, coming up against our idea of perfection and falling short. 

Too often we are focusing on altering rather than enhancing characteristics.  

One of my friends included among their resolutions (it was a long list) to ‘be kind’. This is, of course, coming from a kind person. People are kind, most of us just struggle to be kind to all people all of the time.

I guess we could look at the issue of this ‘be kind’ resolution as being a blanket statement – goals should have some form of measurement (otherwise you will always fall short because your moving your own finish line) and a way to hold yourself accountable, or else it is too easy to continue to perpetually put it off. 

There are also those resolutions that are driven by external rather than internal influences, mostly regarding appearance. Exercise, diet and fitness resolutions are so frequently the result of drawing comparisons, feeling judged and pressuring ourselves from perceived social expectations, rather than from our own desire to be healthier, fitter or live a more sustainable lifestyle. 

Whilst there is much to be encouraged in pursuing a healthier lifestyle, with balanced diet and regular activity, too often these resolutions stem from places of negativity which manifests as defeatist thought spirals. 

A Time for Reflection Not Resolution 

Instead, New Year should be a time of reflection, a relaxed evaluation of the year gone by, a chance to feel proud at what was accomplished and acknowledge anything that we would have liked to have done differently. (Do not dwell on the latter, acknowledgement is not the same as regret unless you give it more than the passing glance it generally requires).

Reflection is a slow methodical evaluation that enables recognition, instils self respect through acknowledgement, resulting either in acceptance and self love, or the establishment of a considered trajectory for positive change. 

So make this January a time of reflection, and your only resolution to be one of self-care, of acknowledging not regretting and of letting go of the past year to fully embrace your potential in the new one. 

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Be More Edison

Last year, I published a post about Thomas Edison. 2nd January 1879 was the day that Edison began work on his first generator, only to see his life’s work go up in flames in 1914. Yet was he deterred? Not at all. Almost 70, he simply began all over again.

For me this is what January, and New Year, is all about. It is a time of year when everyone is reflecting, looking back at the year gone by and making plans for the year to come. It is important to be aware that this reflection makes it a challenging time of year for many, especially if personal tragedies have occurred. I like the Thomas Edison anecdote because it is all about renewal and rejecting regret. Regrets, and the expectations that lead to them, are the biggest foes of mental wellbeing in January.

Be More Edison

This year, I too am starting over. Our little family has grown and new life has brought rejuvenation. The past year was filled with personal reflection and emotional exploration as I attempted to regain some past integrity I felt had been lost through traumatic experience.

The initial ambition when I created this blog was to find solace, and perhaps provide some too, along the way. Now, I feel refreshed, thanks to you dear reader, I have persevered and gained confidence.  Like Edison, I have begun rebuilding, forming a disposition that I recognise from before my mental health broke down and becoming suicidal. Recovery, especially from an emotional injury, is a long journey, but I do believe it to be possible, however long it takes.

Take your time.

Where to Start?

Mental illness can be all consuming and because it is invisible can take longer to recognise, diagnose and understand.

Identifying the triggers for episodes of mental ill-health is an important place to begin. The trigger is the connection between the symptoms you experience and their root cause, most frequently a past experience. It’s working backwards to move forwards.

If you have been following my blog for a while, you will be aware that the trigger for my depression and suicidal thoughts was a series of negative relationships and intense academic anxiety. However, my anxiety is much more ingrained and has a root buried much deeper in the past.

Over the last year, I have begun to mentally excavate around the root. This began by assessing my panic attacks and identifying when the latest one started, working back from the obsessive behaviour to its trigger.

This is a good place to start because it does not require going outside, getting dressed, or even leaving the safety of a duvet cocoon.

Once identified, triggers can be used during grounding to re-centre and gradually gain control over mental illness, instead of feeling that it is control of you. It took me years, but I can now identify activities that are more likely than others to affect my mental wellbeing. As a result, I can be selective in my actions. This does not mean avoiding triggers outright. But it means that I can choose to engage with a stressor and feel in control or disengage from it if I am already feeling overwhelmed.

This isn’t about ‘Saying No’, which so many people find difficult. This is about self-awareness and being able to use that awareness to cope with the things you say yes too. Personally, I think it is generally good to say yes. Yes is positive, it makes you feel capable, because you are capable. If you didn’t know that on some level, you’re subconscious wouldn’t have jumped in and said yes on your behalf before the rest of your brain had thought it all through.

Have faith in yourself and your abilities, even if, like Edison, you have some rebuilding to do.

 

Medication in Pregnancy

I thought it was about time I put all these hospital visits to good use. I have now been prescribed pretty much everything you can be prescribed for pain during pregnancy (in the UK), and had numerous doctors explain to me what medications I can and cannot take.

I hope that this post will help you gain a little more information about medications during your pregnancy experience and reduce the amount of scrolling through the world-wide web.

This post covers Paracetamol, Ibuprofen, Codeine and Co-codamol.

Where This Post Began

For those of you who have been following my pregnancy journey, you will know that 3 weeks ago I was in the Out of Hours clinic at the hospital, and then the maternity unit in the next town. This resulted in a diagnosis of renal colic, likely resulting from a kidney stone.

I discussed how pregnant women can become more susceptible to kidney stones (although there is no increased risk associaed with pregnancy) because of the extra pressure all your organs undergo during gestation.

Kidney stones can take a while to pass by themselves and treatment, both of the stone and of the accompanying pain, are limited during pregnancy. X-rays are the most reliable screening test (although ultrasound can be used with mixed results), but of course radiation would never be used anywhere near a developing fetus.

Pain Relief: Paracetamol, Codeine and Co-codamol

Due to the extreme agony of renal colic and the limited options for pain relief in pregnancy (under usual circumstances Paracetamol is the maximum and then recommended to be used as little as possible), it is very common for women to be admitted to hospital if they develop stones during pregnancy.

Medications containing Codeine should only be used under  prescription during pregnancy because it contains opiates, and should not be taken at all during the first and third trimesters as it is during these developmental stages that baby will be most effected by its use.

I was prescribed Co-codamol (which combines Codeine and Paracetamol) because if you have ever had renal colic you will be aware that regular painkillers just don’t touch it.

Unfortunately, I did not react well to these tablets (and to be perfectly  honest was not keen on taking even prescribed medication with opiates in it). They made me dizzy, disoriented and extremely nauseous. They numbed the pain beautifully, but made me completely disfunctional.

When you react negatively to Co-codamol, you just plain react badly to it. Attempts to reduce the dosage and prescriptions of straight Codeine, are unlikely to have any different results.

What are Your Alternatives? 

Whilst the tablets reduced the pain  enough for me to deliver walking tours, the side effects would have made me a health and safety nightmare. With my additional reluctance over what the tablets contained, I stopped taking them and headed off to the doctor.

She prescribed just straight Paracetamol and told me that to make it effective, I would need to keep on taking it every 4 to 6 hour. As you will note from the link above, this is not ideal.

Ibuprofen should also always be taken with care, not for prolonged periods, and is ideally completely avoided during pregnancy.

So in answer to the initial question, there are very few alternative options.

When (as in this instance) screening tests make you certain that the pain is not related to baby (always a relief to any expecting parent) it is the case that the pain is not a complication of the pregnancy, but that treatment of the cause is complicated because of the pregnancy.

Personal Update and Notes on Buscopan

This was my final alternative for the pain I was experiencing. For two weeks following the initial hospital visit, the pain became gradually less severe and to my relief I was able to manage it without going near Codeine.

But last week, suddenly the pain spiked once again and rather than occurring centrally, moved around to my back, concerning me that it was kidney related. Once again, we ended up with a midnight trip to hospital, numerous blood tests and multiple medical opinions.

There seemed to be some surprise that I had received the diagnosis of kidney stones without any screening tests (as I mentioned above, you won’t be x-rayed during pregnancy due to radiation, but ultrasounds can be used, although they are less effective in this area).  Currently, I have been re-diagnosed with constant, considerable abdominal pain of unknown cause.

After a lengthy but pleasant discussion with the doctor, there was one final painkiller we could try, Buscopan. This was because of the new conclusion that the pain wasn’t renal and the guess was that perhaps it could be bowel related.

Buscopan is usually used to treat conditions such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), menstrual cramping and other forms of cramps and internal spasms. For the majority, it has no side effects making it a suitable alternative for those who react negatively to Codeine. There is, however, a very long list of instances in which you should not take Buscopan, and like Ibuprofen it is not a solution for long term pain relief.

Where We Are at Present

Ultimately, it is feasible that 3 weeks ago when the first round of hospital trips and tests began, I did have something (the professional jury still seems to be out as to whether it was a stone or not) irritating my kidneys, but although I am still experiencing considerable abdominal discomfort, it is now unlikely to be kidney related.

I am relieved, kidneys are vital organs and no one wants there to be something wrong with them. Whilst it is daunting to be experiencing unexplained abdominal pain, it is reassuring to know that all the blood tests have come back clear, showing that the kidneys are functioning properly. These blood tests also indicate that there is not infection or inflammation, which suggests that if there was a kidney stone, it is not the cause of this current pain and that it isn’t a urinary tract infection (UTI) or anything else too be overly worried about.

This is good news because it is when these (otherwise unrelated conditions) result in infections or fevers that they can start to impact the developing fetus.

I can gain comfort from a referral to get an ultrasound scan on my kidneys next week. 

As ever, if you are experiencing any medical concerns, always seek professional assistance.